STARSHIP Creative, LLC-lifestyles: PARENTING SURVIVALISM - What Do You Do When Spankings Are Out Of The Question?

by M Jvlian Simmons

A STARSH!Pper asks:

"I REALLY am kind of at a loss with how to deal with my daughter's attitude. lol

I gotta be honest, because this mess tries me to no end.

And I don't care what my dad says, she's absolutely not getting it from me, because lately I've been completely non-confrontational, not snappy, and not the easily-agitated hot mess that I usually am.

She's just-

..aaaarrghh!!!"

-Lil' Mama Lin (actual name withheld)

WHEN SPANKING'S OUTTA THE QUESTION - Getting "fresh" with/"talkin' slick" to her elders?

Is she already taking her family sponsorship for granted, as we often do growing up?

Does she act like she's reached the "end-game" and now thinks that she knows where the limit is?

Get crafty and go "genius level" Jedi on her.

Yoda: Tho the smallest, also the eldest, and most powerful of Jedi.

Speaking as a father to 3 now-grown kids, and as a middle and high school teacher of a decade, I/we had to learn some alternative tactics to get my/our point across sometimes, when the kids got "too big for their britches".

As my dad used to say, "Kissing @$$ is out of order".

Just like with athletes, and celebrities, defiance in also little children CAN be deterred by the loss of parental sponsorship, when they surpass light spanking tolerance.

Parents need an answer to kids questioning "..OR WHAT?"

Don't yell; let your structure/policies speak for you.

METHOD; DIVESTMENT/REPO - A temporary loss of assumed resources (ie., removal of a door from its frame for a time, short term confiscation of objects/perks she enjoys, lightbulbs, seasoning, tv/smart phone, fave toy, maybe having to wear an overly-basic outfit if she enjoys her clothes and flamboyance, you get the point as things she assumes can't be taken away) can get their attention, especially if you think she feels that you have no plan past spankings.

METHOD; THE WALLET WALLOP - If she can be issued a small allowance, or even awesome personal amenities for being basically obedient, and for their being willing to undergo small tasks to learn responsibility.

But its also counter-balanced by their conduct, behavior, and cooperation.

Introduce the kids to making money by extra participation!

They CAN (either make or) lose from a quarter to a whole dollar, by either helping and learning houshold duties, or by talking smart to your parent/sponsor, or being either particularly helpful, or defiant in a public place.

My mom used to charge me my entire allowance for eating all the snacks from groceries within the first 3 nights thereafter.

Why charge me money?

Because spankings didn't work anymore for me; I was now too old, too big, and too strong; both she and I KNEW it.

So she started tapping my funds when I acted up.

My next punishment level involved my car, and free-time.

I could potentially lose my driving/social privileges for a week, month, or up to an entire season, for gross home violations.

I could be mad, or go be alone to think about my misdeeds that led me here, but tantrums, and being sarcastic/attitudinal was not allowed at such times.

And though I was a driving, man-stinking, and mayhem-loving teen, she never let me think myself too grown to get "popped inna mouf" for mouthing off either.

Nip bad attitudes in the bud, QUICKLY, while you can.

And to be clear, we're not talking about a full-fledged punch or slap like in the graphic below, but more of a quick and sudden wiping down of their face with your hand, from their nose to their chin. Imagine you're swatting a wasp on their mouth without outright "hitting" them.

It doesn't hurt much more than their feelings, embarrassed and confused because they didn't think something like that could ever happen, until alas, it did.

Trying to participate in riots may get kids popped a teeny bit harder.

By now, you've probably heard about the dad who shot up his daughter's laptop for disrespecting her liberties.

Case en-point.

METHOD; THE AWAITING FAMILY EXECUTIONER - You'll need a designated disciplinarian for this (but its really just play-acting).

She's so young that you could probably have an elder family member play "the uncle on the phone Imma send you to, to work, if you won't listen to ME".

Spankings used to be able to be given by parents, teachers, and neighbors alike .

His job here, is to sternly have her answer (by phone) to why she chooses to defy her parents.

"No one ever expects The Spanish Inquisition." -Mel Brooks

Not only was my dad "there", but even when he wasn't, there were uncles, aunts, and elders we had to answer to, regarding our foolishness in my parent's stead.

No need to make it real; the image in their heads is harsh enough.

They'd be like "don't let your mama have to send you down the line, to ME, to learn some respect.

Y'know, I used to tan ALL these grownups hydes (complete with short and poignant description of how).

Now I wanna hear you apologize to your mama, and tell her that you'll be obedient from here on out, or its gonna be you an' me, y'hear me, Miss Ma'am/Mister?".

We'd be like "oh, no sir, she won't have to; and yes sir, we will, right now!!!"
*quaking*

Even if its a stern aunt, grandma, great-uncle or great-aunt; just someone you can trust to do it right (to be stern, but loving and not menacing).

You may not like to see her shudder/cower, poor thing, but its better than having to dole out ACTUAL corporal punishment.

Its really the mere thought of being turned over to someone unfamiliar who doesn't cater to her, and whom she can't run game on.

Her chances are better just listening to YOU, is the logic.

We all have to learn to "mind/respect your elders"; ain' no exceptions.

Whatever the case, make sure the punishment fits the crime.

..or just show them this condensed (5-minute) episode of Andy Griffith, where a new spoiled kid in town negatively influences Andy's son, Opie!